We are often creatures of habit and even when it is in our best interests to make certain changes in our lives, the internal resistance that we may encounter when we attempt to make a change, can create a powerful force, opposing the very changes that we seek.
EMPOWERMENT MOTIVATES; FEAR AND GUILT PARALYSES.
If a proposed change or action invokes a sense of fear or guilt in the recipient, the feeling that is generated, is generally not one of motivation or of the inspiration to change. The resulting feelings are more likely to be: apathy, disinterest, powerlessness and hopelessness instead of a sense of empowerment, positive choice and action.
ALIGNMENT WITH CORE VALUES
In order to embark on significant change of any kind, we have to consciously and subconsciously be able to “buy into it”. By this, I mean that it is essential that the proposed change aligns with our core values. This alignment creates the durability required to endure the process of change, which isn’t always easy. If your core values do not align with the changes you wish to create, any changes made will usually be short lived and will not be sustainable.
We must therefore be aware of what our core values are to begin with. If we realise that our core values do not align with the new changes that we want to create, we can then choose to repostition and adjust those values to fit with our desired goals. Then our values become the foundation that drives and empowers us in achieving the changes we seek.
PREREQUISITES FOR CHANGE
The following beliefs/prerequisites are essential in making and succeeding with a decision to change. Like core values, the underlying beliefs that a person has must be aligned with the desired changes that they wish to make in order to achieve success.
WE NEED TO BELIEVE:
- That the change we seek is beneficial, that it will make a positive difference to us, to others or to the world we live in.
- That it is actually possible to achieve.
- That we have the power, ability, skill, support and resources to change.
- That we are fully capable of implementing a specific action or behavior.
- That we have the courage to face our emotional vulnerability that can be exposed when changing habits of a lifetime.
WE NEED TO BE WILLING:
- To identify our resistance to change.
- To identify how our resistance actually serves or protects us.
- To examine any adverse consequences that we perceive could result from the change that we wish to make.
WE NEED TO FEEL:
- That our desire for the positive outcomes we seek is greater than the energy required to implement the changes.
- That our desire to change outweighs the comfort and familiarity of our current reality or state.
If we identify a dissonance or misalignment in any of the above prerequisites to change, these may require further exploration with a therapist or life coach because without alignment, success is undermined.
THE SEMANTICS OF SUCCESS
If we are truly intent on making a specific change in our lives, often we need to alter the words that we use, both in our minds as thoughts, as well as our speech. We need to eradicate the word CAN’T from our vocabulary and begin to entertain the possibility that whatever we want to change is in fact achievable.
Instead of beginning sentences that shut down your own ability or limit possibilities such as:
I don’t; I won’t; I’m not; It’s too difficult; It’s too hard; No…..
CATCH YOURSELF and replace them with:
I could try; I’ll have a think about it; I can; I will; It’s challenging but possible; It’s tricky but achievable; Yes….
THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS; ONLY SOLUTIONS
This is not denial of the very real threats and problems that do exist for us in our lives and in our world, its more of an attitudinal position that we can adopt that supports us in moving towards solving the issues we face rather than giving them the power to stop us reaching our goals.
This solutions based principle applies whether we are responding to the global call to alter the current trajectory of climate change, or to the challenge of making profound personal changes that improve our health, relationships, living circumstances, families, working lives, society, country, world and planet.
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE!
Written by Chrissy Diamond