NAVIGATING FROM SELF DOUBT TO SUCCESS
Throughout our life, we’re presented with multiple opportunities to doubt ourselves. Our past failures, comparison with others, external obstacles or challenges can all lead to a feeling of overwhelm which can derail our best intentions to achieve our goals. Life also presents us with numerous opportunities to succeed and our success in achieving an outcome or attaining a desired state of being, depends on which of our internal voices we’re listening to.
Attempting to navigate our way to success from a place of self-doubt, is doomed for defeat because self-doubt is like a rug that we place all of our intentions on top of, and typically, just when we’re on the verge of succeeding, our self-doubt will rip that rug out from underneath everything that we dearly desire and our hopes and dreams tumble down and we find ourselves powerless and pity-full.
So how do we stop sabotaging our success and dooming ourselves for defeat?
Let me share with you 5 steps that I’ve used to dissolve my own self doubt in order to attain my goals as well as coaching many others to do the same.
5 STEPS TO DISSOLVING SELF DOUBT
1: DEFINE SUCCESS
What is your definition of success? When you think of someone who has succeeded in their field, or they’ve attained a state of being that you’d like to attain, who do you think of?
In order to succeed, it’s vital to have a positive view of success. Sometimes we can have negative associations to those that we view as successful, e.g. arrogant, selfish, egocentric or lacking in integrity. If we have associated negative states with achieving success, our best efforts to succeed will be thwarted because they don’t align with our own value system. If this is the case, we need to redefine the meaning of success for ourselves, to align with those values, traits, behaviours and states that we like, admire, prefer and desire.
When our definition of success aligns with our value system, our efforts to succeed in anything, work for us not against us and we stack the odds in our own favour. We need to have an undivided intention to succeed if we are to experience success.
2: LABEL THE SELF DOUBT: GIVE IT A NAME
This part of the process is fun and may seem a bit silly, but that in itself is an important aspect, as we need to have a sense of humour and be able to laugh at our self-doubt in order to dis-empower it.
Make up a cartoon character name that illustrates the personality of your self-doubt, for example:
Belinda the Bully; Miserable Maude; Vera the Vampire, Sinister Stephen…etc
Imagine what the characters look like in cartoon form and when they speak to you internally, what do they say? e.g. If only I was thinner, better looking, funnier, talented, richer, etc…., or maybe they speak directly to you, e.g. You’re a loser, You’re a failure, You’re a joke. You’re a disappointment..
I’ve given some fairly obvious examples, but the messages that they give us in the form of our own self-talk can be quite subtle as well, so be discerning. If you are someone who suffers from self doubt and you probably are because you’re reading this, then you’ll likely be all too familiar with the kind of self talk that continually derails you.
The most important thing here is to identify these characters as separate from yourself. You may have more than one character or personality that self-doubt features as, it doesn’t matter, just label them all.
3: CATCH THE CHARACTERS IN ACTION
Identify which character is speaking to you when that internal voice of self-doubt shows up. You’ve got to get clever at being able to catch them when they’re at work doing their best to sabotage you.
These internal characters are actually just less evolved, un-integrated aspects of ourselves and ways of being that we adopted at some stage of our life, through beliefs that we absorbed, or assumptions or decisions that we made about ourselves that simply do not serve us. Instead, what happens is that WE end up serving THEM and they rule over us, hypnotizing us with their self defeating words and we all too quickly come under the spell of what they’re saying because we have identified with them as who we really are.
YOUR SELF DOUBT IS NOT WHO YOU ARE!!
If you really want to overcome your self-doubt and the detrimental effects that it has in your life, its important to view these aspects (characters) as separate from yourself because they do NOT represent your innate awesomeness. You’re bigger than them!
4: CALL THEM OUT ON IT
When we identify these characters through the ways that they are speaking to us internally via our thoughts, we need to call them by their name e.g. “Oh its you again “Deceitful Donald” I can hear you but I disagree with what you’re saying and we’re doing things my way from now on”.
If someone you knew, burst out with a whole lot of insults directed towards you, you’d most likely have something to say back to them in the form of a disagreement….this is what I’m inviting you to do with your own negative internal voices, disagree with them so you can re-assert your position as being in charge of your own life.
In other words, when self-doubt arises within us, we need to recognize it for what it is and simply say “SO WHAT”. Rather than being obedient to the instruction of self-doubt within us, we need to say “So what if I have a little self doubt…I’m not going to let it stop me from doing what I want to do or from becoming what I want to be in my life.”
5: FOCUS ON YOUR GOAL
The way that we move forward in our lives is much like driving a car – we have to see where we’re going and keep our focus and attention on what is happening in front of us. Sure, sometimes we have to use our rear-vision mirror/camera to reverse so that we can change direction but we then re-direct our focus to whats ahead.
Self-doubt is a bit like trying to drive forward while looking in the rear-vision mirror/camera instead of focusing on where we’re wanting to go and whats in front of us.
Our internal doubts are often anchored in the past and use historic reference points as evidence to prove that we are destined to fail so why even bother trying? Self-doubt is merely a distraction from what what we really want to achieve, attain, experience or become.
So stop allowing yourself to be distracted by those negative voices and re-focus on your goal! What is it that you really want?
If this is where you get stumped because you don’t know or you feel unsure about what you truly desire, let me give you a hint: whatever it is, it will involve joy, excitement, energy, health, love, peace, purpose, meaning, fulfillment, satisfaction, contentment and the resources need to achieve and maintain these states….so focus on attaining these states as your overall goal!!!
NO MORE EXCUSES
Saying “SO WHAT” to self-doubt is about not giving yourself an excuse to live a life of limitations, because most of the limitations that life actually presents to you are determined by you.
Yes, you may have experienced challenges, obstacles, traumas and hurts that have left scars both seen and unseen, and maybe you’re still healing from these. So take the time that you need to heal, gather around you the people and practices that support you and then redefine yourself and how you’d like the rest of your life to be.
Its up to you if you allow yourself to be defined by the doubt that erodes the self, or create a new definition for yourself, one that involves succeeding in whatever you set your intention to be, the power is yours!
All the best
Written By: Chrissy Diamond
