The Flaw with the Law of Attraction. At the beginning of each new year we often resolve to change aspects about ourselves that we’d like to improve. All too often, as soon as we slip back into our routines, those annoying old habits resurface again. I recently read a gem of a book called “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” written by Dr Joe Dispenza. The book discusses the neurophysiology associated with those outdated habits/patterns that we want to change. It also gives a very specific guide to actually creating the changes that we dearly want. Part of this guide highlights an important aspect of the LAW OF ATTRACTION that is often overlooked.
Firstly, let me explain the basic premise of the law of attraction. This law essentially states that whatever we think, feel and do, subconsciously, creates what we experience in life.
DR JOE DISPENZA
According to findings in neuroscience, our subconscious mind controls 95% of our thoughts, feelings and actions. Dr Dispenza explains that only 5% of these behaviours are controlled by our conscious mind. This means that most of us are thinking, feeling and acting out of subconscious patterns that we aren’t aware of.
These subconscious patterns are formed from historical experiences that have become embedded within us. They become embedded through memories that we’ve played over and over in our minds. This repetition creates automatic responses in our minds and bodies, that we are no longer aware of.
SUBCONSCIOUS PATTERNS
These automatic responses have several components:
Thought processes: judgements, assumptions and decisions we made about ourselves and our environment.
Feelings/Emotions: a felt emotion triggered by the thoughts e.g. fear, grief, anger, shame.
Physical response: biochemical changes resulting in a variety of physical reactions. E.g. contracted muscles causing tension/pain, sleeplessness, anxiety, nausea, digestive issues, lowered immune system leading to physical illnesses etc.
Behavioural response: E.g. over-drinking, over-eating, drug-dependencies, violence, reclusiveness, overspending, irresponsibility, self-pity, OCD. Or snapping at partner/kids, being overly critical, competitive, controlling – etc.
AUTOMATIC RESPONSES
These thoughts, feelings and physical responses have been so well memorised by us, that they then become subconscious. An example of this given by Dr Dispenza is getting into your car and driving from “A to B”. Upon arriving at “B”, you have no recollection of the journey. You’ve taken the journey so many times before you no longer have to think about it. It is now simply an automatic/subconscious memorised behaviour.
So, as Dr Dispenza instructs: we can create our experiences by default, assuming a powerless state of ignorance about our own negative patterns. In doing so, let our subconscious automatic thoughts, feelings and actions run the show, resulting in a haphazard, luck of the draw kind of life. Or we can create our thoughts, feelings and experiences consciously and deliberately. This is achieved by accessing our mysterious subconscious mind and changing our negative internalised programs to ones that serve us. This uses the law of attraction to our benefit.
CREATE DELIBERATELY OR BY DEFAULT
Coming back to Holistic Alignment’s musings about THE FLAW WITH THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
(Well it’s actually a flaw with a misperception regarding the Law of Attraction).
Many readings and teachings on the Law of attraction emphasise focusing our thoughts, words, feelings and behaviours on the positive e.g. what we DO want. However is fails to acknowledge the negative, what we DON’T want to create.
THE FLAW with this perception is that it can disguise the problem with false positivity. Colouring everything positive is not only inauthentic, it also ignores and distracts us from the very thing that we want to change. This makes the problem less conscious to us which is exactly what allows it to continue.
I was surprised to read Dr Dispenza’s instruction for changing our habitual patterns begins by identifying and memorising what the individual DOES NOT WANT! This vital step is often omitted from teachings on the LAW OF ATTRACTION.
ALERTING THE CONSCIOUS MIND
It dawned on me that the reason for identifying and memorizing the negative state is for the purpose of alerting the CONSCIOUS MIND. The subconscious mind needs the CONSCIOUS MIND to wake it up from its trance-like slumber of automatic thoughts, feelings and behaviors. They’re automatic because we don’t realize what we’re doing until we’re already acting out the same old pattern. Just like the example of the journey of driving from “A to B”, this is why the negative pattern cannot be bypassed by the conscious mind.
GIVING YOURSELF AN UPDATE
This bypassing of the conscious mind is why, despite focusing on positively framed thoughts, beliefs, intentions etc…it’s still easy to get tripped up by that old bad habit. Before you know it, self doubt creeps back in and it feels so impossible to change. It feels easier to just identify with that limited older version of ourselves as who we really are. What we fail to recognise, is that limited version of ourselves is just an older generation model of us. That model is based upon old neural networks that we keep acting out time and time again despite our best of intentions to be different. If any of this is sounding familiar to you, then perhaps it’s time to give yourself an update.
So, speaking from personal application of Dr Dispenza’s teachings, by identifying and memorizing the negative thing that I want to change, I can bring it into my conscious mind. Then, it takes a good level of self-honestly to acknowledge all of the ways those negative patterns play out.
An example could be:
Thought: No one understands me
Feeling: fear, anger or sadness
Physical response: breathlessness, abdominal tension, feeling tired and lackluster
Behaviour: Sighing, speaking sharply or rudely, isolating self by either pushing people away with abrasiveness or retreating and sulking, being overly controlling, critical or judging of others, crying, numbing the feelings through drinking alcohol or overeating
CHANGING THE PATTERN
By memorising those various negative patterns, whatever they may be for you, You can catch yourself the very moment you start thinking, feeling, or behaving in any of those familiar old ways. In doing so, you interrupt your own automatic behaviour. Once the pattern is interrupted, you can then employ the change techniques taught by Dr Dispenza.
Repeating this process through moment to moment awareness, has allowed me to begin to disrupt those old automatic habits. I can then activate the memorised thoughts, feelings, physical responses and behaviours that I WANT to experience. I am now observing this process play out in real time, having deliberate experiences that are allowing me to emerge into a better version of myself.
HOPE
When all else fails, including us, and we fail despite the best of our intentions, hope can be a sustaining force. Hope gives us the ability to try again and again…and again, to be the best version of ourselves in any given moment, and why settle for anything less?
Tomorrow is a new day and we’ve just started a new year so wishing you all the very best for becoming all that you can be in 2019!
CHRISSY DIAMOND
Holistic Alignment offers a variety of treatments to suit your unique needs. Our Practitioners Chrissy Diamond and Lorelei Messersmith will be happy to discuss any questions you may have regarding your treatment to assist in putting you at ease. Contact Chrissy to book your first Holistic Alignment.