ASSESS WHICH DIRECTION WE ARE HEADING IN
We know how it feels when we’re in the flow, when things are working out for us, when life is on our side and we’re on the upward spiral. We’ve all experienced this sense of hope and positivity, the feeling that: we’re glowing, we’re walking with a gentle spring in our step, the sun is shining and time is on our side.
Yet sometimes external circumstances trigger us into viewing things from a negative perspective. One thing goes wrong, and then another, and life feels as if its spiralling in the wrong direction like a bad game of dominos. With this experience, comes the feeling that nothing is working out for us, that life is somehow against us and we’re trapped in a never-ending, inescapable loop.
EMPOWERMENT ALLOWS US TO CHANGE DIRECTION
Living from a place of empowerment involves deliberately taking responsibility for our lives, our emotions and our experiences. From this place of integrity, we give ourselves the opportunity and capability to alter the direction that we are moving in and get back on the upward spiral.
This position doesn’t deny the reality of whatever challenges we may be facing but it does ask us to question if our perspective is actually reinforcing those challenges or supporting us through them..
Does our internal narrative build us up or tear us down? Does the story we’re telling ourselves (and everybody else), help us to feel better or worse about our circumstances and our ability to manage whatever comes our way? Is the song we keep singing an anthem of encouragement or of hopelessness?
WHAT DO WE WANT MORE, TO BE RIGHT OR TO FEEL BETTER?
Often, in an attempt to shield ourselves from feeling the difficult emotions that occur with unresolved traumas, we engage in self-deception. This shows up when we wear the armour of false pride in an effort to protect ourselves from our own vulnerability. That pride seeks to blame our external experience for our internal state of being. As long as we’re employing that method of self-protection we’ll never feel like we’re in charge of our own lives. Instead, it will always feel like external forces hold all of the power and we are but helpless victims.
The problem with assuming the position of being a victim is that we can always find evidence to support this perspective in order to prove ourselves as being right. This sense of right-ness then reinforces our victimhood and it becomes a perpetual feedback loop. Yet does reinforcing our sense of rightness in identifying as a victim allow us to feel any better?
An alternative to this self-defeating cycle, is to decide what holds more value for us – being right, or feeling better? If we commit to feeling better then we can redirect our energies towards telling a different story about ourselves and our circumstances. One that supports our courage, our willingness and our ability to change our direction and get back on the upward spiral.
CHANGING OUR NARRATIVE
One way of getting back onto the upward spiral is by redirecting our internal narrative. We can do this through the process of intentionally shifting ourselves into a higher vibrational emotion.
The spectrum of emotions detailed in David R. Hawkins “Letting Go”, shares lower vibration emotions through to higher. Following this spectrum, I’ve added a phrase to be spoken/used in the 1st person to actively support this reframing.
DIRECTIONS TO GET BACK ON THE UPWARD SPIRAL
1: Identify the level of emotion that you’re currently experiencing. (Be honest with yourself, this is a private exercise so no one needs to know what level you’re currently at).
2: Gently raise your emotional state by identifying with the feeling of the phrase above your current level. (You can say it out loud or just feel what the phrase communicates emotionally).
3: Continue this process up the emotional spectrum until you are experiencing a better emotional state.
NOTE: If you feel tired or drained during the process, it’s important to honour yourself, pause and take a rest. You don’t have to get to the top of the spectrum today, even shifting to the next level up will feel slightly better.
EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM (LOWEST TO HIGHEST) ON UPWARD SPIRAL
SHAME – I’m not worthy
GUILT – It’s my fault
APATHY – I don’t care
GRIEF – I care and I lose
FEAR – I fear my emotions, I resist
DESIRE – I long for, I want, I don’t have
ANGER – It’s your fault, I resent
PRIDE – I’m better than you, I’m bigger than this
COURAGE – I’ll get through it, I can endure it
NEUTRALITY – I’m ok, its ok
WILLINGNESS – I transform, where’s the light? / where’s the way forward?
ACCEPTANCE – I include, I harmonize
REASON – I see, I solve,
LOVE – I embrace, I’m whole, you’re whole, we’re whole
JOY – I remain, I’m constant, I belong, I’m seen, I’m connected, I’m fulfilled
PEACE – I am bliss, I am one, I am light, I am energy, I am all
HONOUR WHERE YOU’RE AT
When we’ve experienced a significant grievance, trauma or unexpected happening, sometimes we need to stay exactly we’re at. For example, attempting to use the upward spiral to jump from the level of shame, up to joy and peace after discovering a betrayal, would actually be unreasonable. This jumping from one level to another in order to avoid our emotions is called bypassing and it doesn’t work because our emotions always have a way of “telling their truth”. The key with moving through any experience on order to gain the most value, is to listen to our deep emotional truths. Its’ called authenticity, but it’s a private encounter between you and yourself alone.
REACH OUT IF YOU NEED SUPPORT ON THE UPWARD SPIRAL
Finally, some emotional content is really difficult to navigate through on your own. Being able to acknowledge this and reach out for some support, shows humility and courage that in turn lifts you into a better place on the upward spiral.
Wishing you ALL the very best!
Written by Chrissy Diamond